Monday, June 28, 2010

Death of a Vision

Today was a day of letting go of all the things that I thought were before me and surrendering to those things that are already in view and that are ahead of me. I don't know if any of you have been through this but laying down and surrendering are so hard for me. I am a stubborn girl. Not the best of traits but, hey, if you knew what I had been through in my life you would understand. I don't give up easily and I grieve when I have to. Today was a day of giving up. Not necessarily a bad thing but still very painful. One good thing it brought was peace to me and peace to my sweet husband that has been putting up with me while I go through this "fun" process.
The only way I can put it is.... my family and I drove up to the top of this beautiful, green hill with the purpose to eat and see the sun set. Just before we got there there was a wonderful thunderstorm so many of the clouds from that storm still resided at the top of the hill. We ate and looked for birds and played frisbee. My husband and two older children went exploring while me and the two year old stayed behind to see the exquisite rainbow that had appeared out of nowhere. Two year old suggested that we take a walk. While we were walking, the rainbow started to fade causing my precious girl sadness because she was convinced that that rainbow was her rainbow and no one elses. She kept crying "my rainbow, my rainbow." While she was looking at the rainbow, I was looking at the most golden sunset I have seen in a very long time. It was in the completely opposite direction.So full of color and light I felt like I could touch it. Little one looked up at me with her big hazel eyes and lifted her arms and saying "carry me". Gladly, I picked her up in my arms and began to whisper in her ear,"you know, God made those pink clouds just for you. All of those beautiful, pink, cotton candy clouds are all yours." WE turned our back to the rainbow as she said her goodbye to something fading, and walked toward the pink (which is her favorite color), cotton candy clouds with many more colors than were in the rainbow.
God was faithful to point out to me about this time that my dreams and visions are fading and He has put something so much more beautiful in front of me. It may not be what I thought it would be but it is so much better and full of light and the best part is that He will carry me to the new thing if I let Him.
This is what I read last night :Isaiah 43:18-19 " Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth. Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."
Let go of those things that are fading and climb into the arms of your Father who will carry you to all of those New Things.

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