Monday, June 28, 2010

Death of a Vision

Today was a day of letting go of all the things that I thought were before me and surrendering to those things that are already in view and that are ahead of me. I don't know if any of you have been through this but laying down and surrendering are so hard for me. I am a stubborn girl. Not the best of traits but, hey, if you knew what I had been through in my life you would understand. I don't give up easily and I grieve when I have to. Today was a day of giving up. Not necessarily a bad thing but still very painful. One good thing it brought was peace to me and peace to my sweet husband that has been putting up with me while I go through this "fun" process.
The only way I can put it is.... my family and I drove up to the top of this beautiful, green hill with the purpose to eat and see the sun set. Just before we got there there was a wonderful thunderstorm so many of the clouds from that storm still resided at the top of the hill. We ate and looked for birds and played frisbee. My husband and two older children went exploring while me and the two year old stayed behind to see the exquisite rainbow that had appeared out of nowhere. Two year old suggested that we take a walk. While we were walking, the rainbow started to fade causing my precious girl sadness because she was convinced that that rainbow was her rainbow and no one elses. She kept crying "my rainbow, my rainbow." While she was looking at the rainbow, I was looking at the most golden sunset I have seen in a very long time. It was in the completely opposite direction.So full of color and light I felt like I could touch it. Little one looked up at me with her big hazel eyes and lifted her arms and saying "carry me". Gladly, I picked her up in my arms and began to whisper in her ear,"you know, God made those pink clouds just for you. All of those beautiful, pink, cotton candy clouds are all yours." WE turned our back to the rainbow as she said her goodbye to something fading, and walked toward the pink (which is her favorite color), cotton candy clouds with many more colors than were in the rainbow.
God was faithful to point out to me about this time that my dreams and visions are fading and He has put something so much more beautiful in front of me. It may not be what I thought it would be but it is so much better and full of light and the best part is that He will carry me to the new thing if I let Him.
This is what I read last night :Isaiah 43:18-19 " Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth. Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."
Let go of those things that are fading and climb into the arms of your Father who will carry you to all of those New Things.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I was asked how God gives me strength. If He gives it to me through vitamins or just good vibrations. Hmmmmm.....I have been thinking about how to explain a God that is unexplainable. One that would give His only son to die on a cross so that I did not have to bear the burden of sin on my life. But knowing that some of you need an answer out there (now keep in mind that I am no expert on this, it is just my own personal experience with my Creator), I say it has to do with two things. Me walking toward Him and Him walking toward me. I step out, toward Him, in faith and trust that He will hear me and He walks toward me by answering my request. He loves me and wants to help. Doesn't any parent?
Honestly, I felt horrible Saturday night and really did not want to do the dancing and singing but I asked God for strength and as soon as I got onto that stage I felt revived and energized. It required faith and God answered me with what I needed. I stepped and God breathed His life into me. In Hebrews 11:1 it says" Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
Any of you out there who want to step in His direction? I know that it is hard for some of us to get our minds around a Big God who is all powerful and distant. While I do believe that God is all powerful, I do not believe that there is any part of Him that wishes to be distant and unreachable. Since the fall of man He has been trying to reestablish the connection that He lost when Adam decided to take that fateful bite of forbidden fruit. I believe He restored that connection through His perfect Son, Jesus. He longs to be close to us again to walk with us and talk with us.
It may sound simple and illogical but that is my two cents and I believe it with all my heart.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Kind a Funny

Well, WOW! I find it really funny that the day after I write about getting my strength from God I get sick. I was walking around on the last day of VBS (Splash Day!), which is my favorite day, by the way, and my friend Tammy looked at me and immediately sent me home. I was sad and relieved because I could not figure out why I was so tired. When I got home I had a fever of 102. At least I knew why i was sooooooo tired. I kind of laughed and went to bed. Knowing Friday night I would have to go back and do all of my "cheerleader" moves on stage once again.
I did it! It was awesome and the kids loved it and we all had a great time. I even enjoyed it through my fog of Advil and fever. God truly was my strength last night. Thank You God for always lifting me up. Anyway, it was kind a funny. Note to all who read this... Your faith will be tested. Haha! Just my two cents...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Happy Birthday My Sweet Lili! and I Need Him

It is my precious Lili's 7th Birthday today! She is so beautiful and sweet I wanted to give 7 attributes that make her great so here goes...
1. She is heaven minded. She will choose God every time even if it's a toy or item. She will choose the toy or item with a Scripture verse on it over a nicer item.
2. She is so creative. She is always doing art projects and thinking out of any box. I love it!
3. She is bold. She will tell anyone what she believes and why she believes it.
4. She is kind. She does not ever say a bad word about anyone.
5. She is loving. She will look at someone who has been nasty to her and forgive them immediately and tell them, she loves them all in one breath.
6. She is peaceful. Very little ruffles her feathers. Even during scary storms she is singing.
7. She is mine. Thank you God!!!! She is our precious girl!!!!!!

Ok so we have been doing Vacation Bible School all week at church. I get to do the worship which involves channeling my inner cheerleader and singing about 4 hours out of the day. Can anyone say cardio? It has been so fun and has gotten to the point they don't have to ask me if I will be there next year anymore. They know that I will do it. I enjoy it.
The one thing I do not enjoy is the complete exhaustion all of us feel at the end of the week. However,one thing that has come to me out of this complete exhaustion has been that, as I am singing these fun worship songs about God and gyrating on stage, I am meaning the words that I sing. I have found myself closing my eyes and crying out to Him for His strength and His energy. You know what? It comes to me. Just when I think that I cant do that dance move one more time or I can't jump one more time. I have the strength to do it. I remember when I went on choir tour when I was a teen. We sang this song that says:
"His strength is perfect
When our strength is gone
He'll carry us when we can't carry on
Raised in His power
The weak become strong
His strength is perfect
His strength is perfect

His strength has been all that I have has this week and it has been enough. It has driven me closer to Him to have nothing but His strength to call on. There are so many times that I think it is me getting me through hard situations but it's not and never has been. He carries me. He even carries me through Vacation Bible School (why do they call it that?)week. To some they would say that was a small thing to go through. Believe me, in my life I have been through much more than that, but He cares about every little detail of my life. Ask Jesus to carry you. He will. He loves you and wants to be your strength. Just thought you would like to know...

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Right now I am just going through a time of great growing. You know the times like when you were a kid and could really feel those growing pains. I have been having a lot of growning pains as of late and would like for them to stop. There are so many things in life that creep back up just when you think that you have completely overcome them .It doesn't feel good. You look at yourself and really don't like who you see. The main thing that God keeps reminding me is that if I don't like what I see I can just change it. I don't have to hit myself over the head. He tells me, there is therefore now no condemnation for all who are in Christ Jesus. That is one of the things I do not like about myself. Guilt. That was taken care of on the cross completely paid for. Every timeI feel that, I hear God saying I already took care of that for you. Don't dredge up the old dead and buried stuff, it can no longer weigh you down. I don't know if any of you ever feel this way but just thought I would share what's on my heart.
There was a song I heard about fifteen years ago and I sing it almost every day in my head. The words are:
Don't let the past keep holding you back
Don't lose the dream in which you believe
I long to do deep within you
Something new

I guess these growing pains are to push me into the "something new" of my life. If you are having any growing pains, know that there is something new. A place beyond the past that God has for you. The past was dealt with on the cross and all that is ahead is the new.
Phillippians 3:13-14 But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Hang on....

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Pic of the Day:Best Pic of Abigail So Far

I fnally figured out the trick to getting good pics of 2 year old. Bribery! It works everytime. Just thought you would like to know.