Ponderings

I am just having a hard day today. I woke up and felt like bursting into tears. My husband has been gone almost the whole time since summer got started (mostly because of work). I miss him. He is my partner and it has been hard. I also really like him. He makes me laugh and is my best friend.

I also feel disconnected from people right now. I just feel like I am fluttering through the world. Don't know if you have ever felt that way. My friend called me the other day and just wanted to check on me. She said I wasn't myself lately. Right now, I don't know what myself is. I feel drained and tired. I am getting my feelings hurt easily, well maybe not, but you know when people say things and they come out one way and you know they are meant in another. That's fun.

The other thing is...it has not rained! I miss the rain so much. Sometimes I feel like what is happening in the natural is a picture of what is going on in the spiritual. Probably not spot on in my theology there but if I went on feelings... I feel just like the ground outside.

I was reading in the devotions that I do with my husband about the signs that you see on the side of the road. Some signs are bright and mean to get you attention. Like neon . Some are more subdued , you still see them but not as noticeable. In Matthew5:16 it says, "Let you light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." My friends phone call rang in my head as I read this devotion. What kind of light am I being? Am I bright and shining for God? What message is this drained, unhappy face sending out to those around me? It made me ponder my countenance. At least now I am aware of it. I am working on doing something about it now. Hope to meet you with a smile the next time you visit my blog.

J